Should you do anything when your unfit family is stuffing themselves at Christmas?

How many of you have just suffered through an uncomfortable Christmas watching friends and relatives gorge themselves on holiday meals laden with fat and sugar, not to mention the alcohol and distinct lack of physical activity. Now imagine my horror at having this same scenario played out before me for eight days and seven nights on board a recent cruise.

As a loving son, daughter, friend you want to save your loved ones from their path of self destruction and similarly, as a fitness professional I want to save the world from that same path. But how do you tell someone close to you, or a complete stranger, that they are going to die unless they lay off the crap and move their arses!

We could encourage them to exercise and eat better, because we’re concerned about their health and want them to be around to watch their grandchildren grow up, but they’re likely to get upset and feel that they’re being judged. Who are we to tell them how to live their lives and suggest that they give up something that makes them happy!  But then again, who are we to turn a blind eye while they slowly eat themselves to death.

Unfortunately, no matter how hard we try, we cannot control other people's behavior, but that’s not to say that we are completely helpless either.

People who continually fail to adopt healthy eating and exercise patterns generally fall into one of two categories, they either refuse to change their behavior or they believe that they can’t.

For those who refuse to change their behavior, because they don’t think that there is a problem, the best thing to do is to accept that they are not ready right now, offer understanding, and find a way to let them know that if they are ever ready you can help. Being judgmental and/or unrelenting will only ruin the relationship and any chance of being able to help later.

For those who think they can’t, who are aware that there is a problem but feel that it is too hard to fix, help them to recognise their barriers and to develop strategies to overcome those barriers. Agree with them that there's not always a lot of time for exercise or that healthy foods may seem less appealing than junk food. Once you've established a common ground you can try to address these concerns. Help to find snacks that you agree are both healthy and tasty. Introduce them to an exercise plan that doesn’t impact too much on their regular routine. Help them to find professional help from a dietitian or another health professional. Introduce them to people who have achieved what they currently perceive to be impossible.

No matter what the category, resist the urge to lecture and nag them. Rather listen and empathise, and lead by example! Even though you can’t change someone’s behavior, you don't have to contribute to it. When the next family get together comes around take a healthy dish, without drawing attention to the fact, and continue to stay focused on your own health and fitness goals, without harping on about them.

The idea is to provide a good role model and hope that seeing someone they love and respect healthy and happy may lead them toward the light. Healthy habits can be contagious, isn’t that how you got to where you are now?!

Back to my cruise. I couldn’t change the behavior of everyone on that ship but by the end of the cruise I had everyone at my dinner table ordering salad as their entre, drinking more water than wine and taking the stairs instead of the lifts. And I didn’t say a word...Karen Lirio